Thanks, but No Thanks

‘Tis the season for hostess gifts—those small, tasteful tokens of appreciation presented to whomever is throwing that holiday celebration/obligatory family gathering you attend. What follows is a collection of some of the more...er, noteworthy.

For that hostess who has everything, there’s the wicker football cookie bowl, courtesy of Neiman Marcus, where all things practical are procured.

For some short-lived enjoyment of your host’s initials, there’s monogrammed soap.

If you want to give a gift that allows your hostess to cut and spear her food with one utensil (and who doesn't?), there’s the knork, which, incidentally, is one of Redbook Magazine’s recommended hostess gifts of the season (kno, I’m knot kidding).

There’s the horrifying and disturbingly functional gift.

As well as the inexplicable.

After all, nothing says “Thank you for having me to dinner” like large pleated bunting.