Friday, January 4, 2013

Happy New Year!

Yes, I’m a handful of days late with my 2013 greetings—call it a holdover from 2012’s procrastination.

Here’s hoping that your holidays and New Year festivities were lovely and bright. I was fortunate enough to be happily distracted by friends and a terrific family from doing any writing in this quiet corner of the Internets. Some other unfortunate habits were also fostered, which need to be nipped in the bud. And so, without further ado, my resolutions for 2013:

1.      I will not eat raw cookie dough by the spoonful while watching reruns of Girls.

2.      I will not skip doing Bikram yoga so I can sit on the couch eating raw cookie dough and watching reruns of Girls.

3.      I will not foster negative thoughts with regards to my writing…or my complete and utter lack of commercial success whatsoever. Also, I will not let any such negativity drive me to a bowl of raw cookie dough.

a.       As an amendment to Resolution 3, I also will not be envious of, or jealously covet anyone else’s success. So what if a former colleague of mine is in the running for his second Oscar nomination. WHAT THE HELL DO I CARE ABOUT THAT? Right? I mean, I have my cookie dough. Oh, wait. That’s right, I don’t have that either.

b.      See Resolution 3.

4.      I will write on a regular basis so that I will slowly but surely overtake this crazily talented guy from his quest for total Internet domination.

5.      I will become alpha so that the 12-pound pup does not boss me around.

6.      Scrap Resolution 5. The pup is too cute. I forever will be subservient to him.

7.      I will stop hoarding mason jars in the hopes of making jam. Jam is not happening, just accept it.

8.      I will communicate better with my husband, whom I routinely expect to read my mind…and read it accurately.

9.      I will walk more to counter my sedentary, cookie-dough-eating lifestyle. If I need to buy new pants because, for some inexplicable reason, my hips have grown, I will walk my bottom-heavy self there. And I will leave the cookie dough at home.

10.  I will end the year having to make fewer resolutions for 2014 involving cookie dough.


  1. John,
    You know what she's really saying in number 8, right?
    Number 4 seems to be at odds with 3a (Also, you will never overtake me if you keep posting on Fridays)

  2. Fridays are the new Mondays, haven't you heard?

  3. Ah, the lure of raw cookie dough...

    Good luck on your 2013 goals, Monica!!

    Here's to your sudden discovery and instant noveling fame!

  4. Happy 2013 to you, Erin! As always, you are my blogging inspiration. Here's to a well-written 2013 for the both of us! P.s. LOVE the new pic!

  5. Happy New Year, good luck on all of the resolutions, but hopefully 2014's resolution isn't "eat some raw cookie dough, as I became depressed from depriving myself of it"

  6. And good luck on your resolutions too, Michael! As for the 2014 resolution concern, yeah, pretty sure that'll never happen! ;)

  7. Just checking in...How's resolution 4 going?

  8. Oh, I'm absolutely killing it! Wait...what's the date again?

  9. You are a riot and such a great writer. I loved this. Hows the writing going? Let's get back on a semi-scheduled routine.

  10. Well it's nearly February and just I've opened my computer for the first time since the beginning of January. That pretty much sums up my productivity. ;) I think a routine would be good--looking forward to it...I miss you!

  11. Now it's late February. Start writing already!