Tuesday, September 3, 2013

So, About That Blog…

Hi! Remember me?

What? You don’t?

Can’t put a face to the name? A url to the site? A reason to point and click to that link? I feel ya, trust me, I feel ya.

But here I am anyway after a long, multi-seasonal hiatus. So what exactly was I doing? Well, my four, dear, faithful blog readers, I helped birth a house, did loads of yoga, got rear ended on the jenkiest highway in New York (yes, Van Wyck Expressway, I’m talking about you), celebrated an iron anniversary, got really, really tipsy (not from booze, but by vertigo), and joyously got to spend the last three months with family and friends at the beach. It’s been a great run filled with so much writing…yeah, productive, crazily fulfilling, all-encompassing writing. Ok, that last sentence is a complete and total lie. Also, I became a social-media hermit.
Hermit, thy name is Monica.

But now it’s back to reality—summer is over, so it’s time to sit down at the keyboard again, get to writing and reconnect with the world (electronically—I’m not about to pick up the phone and actually call anyone…that would be nuts). While I do that, thought I’d leave you with some random pics from the summer:

Me, the pup, and our mess.
Training for the circus. Actually, a nightly bonding ritual between daddy and puppy son.

Same ritual, different angle. Better view of hubba-hubba hubby.

There was a devotion to seasonal produce.

An intense devotion.

I so wasn't kidding about the devotion part. If you're taking close-up pictures of asparagus, chances are you have some time on your hands to blog, right? You'd think, but devotion to produce takes up a lot of time. Months, in fact.

A rainbow in Long Beach...and, um, a pole. What can I say? We were rushing to get the shot before the colors faded--photo composition be damned! The rainbow pretty much sums up the summer. Yeah, it's a corny metaphor, but I'm sticking with it.

Finally, tonight's sunset. A spectacular way to end a season. Bring on fall!

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Random Thursday Thoughts

Yes, I’m still here, although you’d barely know it. It’s, well, March, as my four blog followers have pointed out to me. Many a day, nay, a week has passed without a post. So, Beth, Paul, Rob and, most of all, my husband, this tiptoeing back into the blogosphere is for you. Thanks for the kick in the butt.

What have I been up to? That’s a really good question. An excellent one, in fact. (Cue crickets chirping.) I’ve been working on a book. That is, when I’m not obsessing about the pup’s diet.

Or his attire.

Or spending time watching entirely too much TV…solely for the purpose of studying story development, of course. At this point, I have a PhD in television time suckage. It was Justified.

Or photographing an unruly bunch of critters for the holiday book that we do every year for our nieces and nephews.

 So, as you can see, I’ve been very busy (just go with it).

And yet, that hasn’t stopped a certain d-bag delinquent from spamming my blog. Every day. Like it’s his job.

That’s right, Anonymous, I’m talking to you. You, by some diabolical computer program, has ensnared my innocent, quiet blog in your sticky marketing web. I’m not even sure what you’re peddling, as all your ineffective, spamish words point to some product or service that has no tie to anything relevant about anything I’ve written about (or, um, not written about). There’s a reason I have to moderate my comments before they’re posted, and that reason is you.

I’m here to tell you, Anonymous, that your come-hither product blather is indecipherable. Your prompts to check out your website, lackluster. Your marketing gimmick, impotent. As such, I’ve clicked on nothing, not one of your links. I’ve posted not one of your generic comments. You, Anonymous, can suck it.

And as far as those page views you’re generating for me when I’m not publishing a single word in new content, Anonymous? Well…um…


Ok, I’m just rethinking some things here on the fly. Some positions that I’ve taken might be a little hardline, a bit too unforgiving. Hope I haven’t offended you too much, Anonymous.  I mean, when I say, “suck it,” what I’m really trying to say is Thank You.

Friday, January 4, 2013

Happy New Year!

Yes, I’m a handful of days late with my 2013 greetings—call it a holdover from 2012’s procrastination.

Here’s hoping that your holidays and New Year festivities were lovely and bright. I was fortunate enough to be happily distracted by friends and a terrific family from doing any writing in this quiet corner of the Internets. Some other unfortunate habits were also fostered, which need to be nipped in the bud. And so, without further ado, my resolutions for 2013:

1.      I will not eat raw cookie dough by the spoonful while watching reruns of Girls.

2.      I will not skip doing Bikram yoga so I can sit on the couch eating raw cookie dough and watching reruns of Girls.

3.      I will not foster negative thoughts with regards to my writing…or my complete and utter lack of commercial success whatsoever. Also, I will not let any such negativity drive me to a bowl of raw cookie dough.

a.       As an amendment to Resolution 3, I also will not be envious of, or jealously covet anyone else’s success. So what if a former colleague of mine is in the running for his second Oscar nomination. WHAT THE HELL DO I CARE ABOUT THAT? Right? I mean, I have my cookie dough. Oh, wait. That’s right, I don’t have that either.

b.      See Resolution 3.

4.      I will write on a regular basis so that I will slowly but surely overtake this crazily talented guy from his quest for total Internet domination.

5.      I will become alpha so that the 12-pound pup does not boss me around.

6.      Scrap Resolution 5. The pup is too cute. I forever will be subservient to him.

7.      I will stop hoarding mason jars in the hopes of making jam. Jam is not happening, just accept it.

8.      I will communicate better with my husband, whom I routinely expect to read my mind…and read it accurately.

9.      I will walk more to counter my sedentary, cookie-dough-eating lifestyle. If I need to buy new pants because, for some inexplicable reason, my hips have grown, I will walk my bottom-heavy self there. And I will leave the cookie dough at home.

10.  I will end the year having to make fewer resolutions for 2014 involving cookie dough.